REJECTION

6 Practical Tips on Rejection

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Introspection allows one to consider what she/he feels amid rejection. It is necessary for your own well being. Have a honest conversation with God sharing what you are feeling. He can guide you in every situation. Introspection keeps one honest with herself. Honestly aligns your convictions with your values. You are stating, “My feelings are valid.” However, it is also good to ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” “Why does this rejection matter to me?” It may matter based on the source of rejection. If it’s a family member, friend, or boss, it may matter more than someone else. Considering the relationship gives a greater perspective for understanding and healing.

Validity? Ask yourself what should I do about these feelings? Are these feelings valid or not? A natural response like apathy should be given attention, because it will only cause you further harm. Apathy reveals a harden heart and God would not have his people harden their hearts to Him. Therefore, one must be open to either let it go and move on productively, or consider Paul and Barnabas story. They disagreed on a situation and ended up separating because of the disagreement. There are times when we must separate if the disagreement cannot be resolved. Asking yourself whether the feelings are valid or not, keeps your heart in check. Ask God to help you with the matter. He will give you the answers needed at the time. He desires only good in your life. He says, He will never reject you, but will take care of you (Heb 13:5, 1 Pet 5:7).

Identify what you are feeling: Is it sadness; loneliness, anger, embarrassment, or several other emotions because of the rejection? When you name what you are feeling, you can process it better. Ultimately, give it to the Lord in prayer and move on (Rom 8:31). If needed, find a mediator to help you to identify what is going on within, and overtime, you will have understanding.

Express your feelings. Expression will allow you to openly clear your heart and mind. Whether it is through journaling, a friend, companion, coach or counselor, you are taking interests in what you are feeling. Try not to be a victim, but keep in mind your humanity. Never stop talking to God (1 Thess 2:5). Jesus is your friend (Rom 8:1, Heb 4:15).

Consider this quote: Bob Sorge who used the reference from 1 Peter 2:4 “Jesus was rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God. The rejection of man is meaningless if God’s favor is upon you.” I tell ya, if God is for you, who can be against you (Rom 8:1).

Question: How will you move forward as you are considering the rejection you feel?

2. Embrace it!

a.  Because you have acknowledged what you are feeling and you are processing it, Embrace it! Accept what you are feeling, but also, accept the things you cannot change. Keep "I Will" statements in mind. Say, I will not let it control me. I will not be manipulated by someone's else rejection. I will stand firm in who I am and what I believe. I will let that be their problem. God will handle it.

b. The rejection you face today will benefit you in the long run if you embrace all that you are learning from it. Let it push you today, so that you can move forward with strength and courage. Through rejection, increased strength will be your friend. Ask the Lord to help you embrace what you cannot control. Stand on His promises and you will be better for it (Phil 4:19, Jer 29:11).

c. Amy Klutinoty said, “Every ounce of rejection you have faced was God grabbing your shoulders, positioning you into the proper direction, and moving you forward.” Chew on this!

Question: What “I Will” statement can you used to embrace what you are feeling? Name a few for yourself.

3. Don’t Sweat it!

a. There is a book by Richard Carlson called: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and it’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life…

b. Have compassion on yourself; as God sees you from His viewpoint, take control of His enduring love and you will be strengthened as you see yourself through God’s amazing eyes! He has a plan for you and whether you believe it or not, that plan is being played out right before your eyes (Ps 32:8). God’s plan is not based on your feelings; it has already been established before the foundations of the world. So, lean into who He is. He created you in His image and He has a plan for your life (Gen 2:7, Jer 29:11). Jesus came so that you may be free: He who the Son of God sets free is free indeed (John 8:36). Forever!!

c.  Isaiah 41:13 says, “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” 1 Peter 2:23 says, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” God is with his people as they are walking in his truth (Jer 17:7-8, Ps 1).

Question: Is there a tomorrow for your life? Do you hope in the soon coming King? How will you move forward? Are you moving in life with passion and purpose?

4. Have the Conversation!

a. The bottom line: If you know who or why you are being rejected and feel a conversation is needed, have the conversation! If it is impossible for you to have the conversation, write out your feelings first. Maybe the person isn’t honest. Maybe the person lives in denial. Perhaps the person is open for conversation. Whatever the case, do whatever is necessary as best as you can to resolve what's in your heart.

b. This noteworthy quote came from mesmerizingquotes.com. It says, “Often you think when you’re rejected that you are not good enough, but the truth is they weren’t ready for all you have to offer.”

Question: Has the situation been resolved? How will you continue to show up based on your love and compassion for God and yourself? In showing up, there are always people who will receive what you have to offer. Those are your people!

5. Keep Focused!

a. Continue to do what you are doing…you must be doing something right! Yep! When you are rejected, people do not like how you are showing up. Sometimes, they just miss your presence, but don't know how to communicate what they are feeling.

b. Dr. Martin Luther King said, “Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.” Even God said to one of the churches in Revelation, “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.

c. After you have considered all options, keep focused and move on. Keep in mind, we all have choices; therefore, make a good one.

Question: What choice will you make? How is God leading you (Ps 32:8-10)?

6. Seek Support!

If you are really struggling, please know that God has your back. Don’t become discouraged, bitter, or lose hope. Seek support. There are life coaches, counselors, pastors, mentors, and friends who are willing to listen and give guidance for moral support. Keep in mind, there is safety in a multitude of people. Be wise. Be confident. Be still. Be of good courage and you will overcome what you feel (John 16:33).

If you would like to know more, contact us for an introductory consultation. The Lord is with you! Take care.